Yo, yo, yo, everybody. I’m here to talk about all the fun and friendship I’ve been having as HOH and as a guest in the Big Brother house.
First off, holy guacamole! Never would I have imagined how much an experience can fully encompass and embody your mind. When other Houseguests are around and you’re out and about, you rarely have a moment to stop and think for yourself. Not only is everything around you happening so quickly, but you’re constantly overloaded with emotions, information, and adrenaline.
Unfortunately, because you’re constantly in sensory overload, the only time you can get inside your own head is when you finally close your eyes and try to sleep. (Keyword is “try.”)
Let’s just say, you don’t get much sleep. Everything you do in this house gets viewed under a microscope, so you have to constantly be aware of who you’re talking to, what you’re doing, for how long, and who’s around to see.
Trust me, it’s a pain in the ass. The paranoia can definitely get to you in here, but if you spend your days screaming, “Friendship,” yelling like a maniac, dressing up as a middle-aged woman, and pranking people left and right, then I think your sanity will remain [in tact].
LOL. Probably not.
Being HOH has its perks, but there’s definitely a right time to try and become HOH. Obviously, due to the nature of the competitions, you can’t always count on winning at the right time.
But, it’s in your best interest to try your hardest when you know you’re a potential target—or when there’s a target in the house that EVERYONE wants out.
Man, the hardest part of playing this game is missing the outside world. Most things you think you’re going to miss, you end up not missing at all. For example, social media, your cell phone, texting, etc. [I’ve] ever cared. I thought I would, but I don’t miss it one bit.
I weirdly just miss my day-to-day routine and the fact that I had control over my routine, as well. I miss waking up, playing with my dogs, getting a nice cappuccino from the cafe down the street, getting some work done for my clothing company, playing some guitar, sitting in traffic, etc.
Never in a million years would I have thought I could miss doing work and sitting in traffic.
I miss my family and friends a lot. I’m itching to know how they’re feeling, what they’re up to, what they’re thinking, etc.
Although I’m surrounded by cameras, microphones and “interesting” Houseguests 24/7, I catch myself feeling really lonely at times.
I painfully miss the compassion, support, feedback, and love from my family and friends. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read that letter from my parents.
Lastly, I MISS CREATING THINGS.
Your boy is an artist. He creates. Whether it’s music, clothes, designs, or ideas, I’m constantly creating and writing in my normal life. Here, I’m stripped away from all of that and it’s mentally crippling.
No matter how crazy this house is and how much crazier I feel inside of it, I can truly say I am having the best time of my life in here. We’re about to hit the halfway mark and it makes me sad that my experience will shortly come to an end.
Much love and friendship,